Spring

So I started this blog with not much direction. I was planning on using it as an online diary, a virtual abyss for me to just dump all my thoughts into the universe but life got the best of me and somehow I ended up in the abyss instead of my thoughts.

It is October now, and supposedly spring and yet the scarf around my neck and my thick socks beg to differ. But I am feeling a very strong spring vibe in my life right now. I started a new job on the 12th of September and things are going so well to the point that everyone that sees me asks what I have been doing differently.

Let me rewind a little bit. I was in a dead end job for 8 years (insert collective gasp here) No I was not lazy, I was anything but. Scared, anxious, not qualified enough for certain jobs but definitely not lazy. It is hard to find someone willing to give you a chance these days. Even more so to find an employer that is going accommodate the ‘disadvantages’ that come with hiring a mother.  I don’t understand the discrimination though. Mothers are responsible. Yes we drop everything when our children are ill but we never pitch up to work hungover and highly ‘medicated’. We are multi taskers and very reliable as well as self motivated. Employers need to open their minds to the benefits of hiring mothers.

So anyway, back to the story I started feeling depressed. I would constantly ask my closest friends if they saw the warning signs of depression. All of them said no. Obviously this was about more than just a shitty job. I do not have a supportive family, I have had to fight for almost every single thing in my life, and the daily grind at a job that was draining my soul was just escalating everything.

I was about to throw in the towel when I saw a vacancy being advertised in the most extraordinary fashion. They wanted someone competent, but it wasn’t crucial for the person to have the qualification or the experience.  SAY WHAAAAAT NOW? They were looking for someone with a great attitude and to slot into their team. I took the chance. What did I have to lose right?

So after 18mnths of job hunting I scored my second interview out of the hundreds of emails I had sent out.

Nervous is an understatement.

And as I’ve said…I GOT THE JOB!!!!

This job has truly changed my life. It has given me back my sense of self worth, it has eliminated so much stress, I am once again positive about my future and my capabilities.

Depression is a real thing. And it doesn’t always have to be a chemical imbalance and it cannot always be fixed with medication. Sometimes the only way you can dig yourself out of the pit is to make a change or cut a toxic person out of your life. This is sometimes easier said than done, but when you eventually make it to the top of that hill it is worth it.

This is obviously not the whole story, after all this is a blog post and not a short documentary hahahah, but stay tuned to my blog and you will uncover this story layer by layer. I hope whoever reads this sees that you can overcome that burden in your life. Even if you only take one step at a time, take the first step.

 

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